I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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