we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
