I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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