ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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