yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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