I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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