Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
