final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
