You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
