If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
