like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
