dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
