ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
