I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i think i just lost a toe
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
