Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
