Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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