Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
