rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
