I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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