last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
