wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
