If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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