he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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