I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
