so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
