she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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