So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
