We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm both gender and math confused
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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