im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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