I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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