i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
