so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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