What a fucking waste of an outfit
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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