Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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