I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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