Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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