Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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