he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
