U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize