u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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