Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
