I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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