On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
