i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
