Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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