Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
