I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
