So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
