i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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