wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize