No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
