margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
