Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I AM VODKA MAN
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
