is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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