I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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