hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
