Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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