they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
