bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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